


The Mourning After

by MaliceManaged



Series: A Norse God's Questionable Ideas Of Courtship [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Caring Loki, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Loki Is A Gentleman When He Wants To Be, Loss of Parent(s), confused feelings, fuck hydra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6853441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliceManaged/pseuds/MaliceManaged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after their budding friendship begins; Loki finds himself in the uncomfortable position of having to deliver bad news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few days of stressing and a few glasses of wine later; here we go! I have a pretty good idea where the rest of this part is going to go, but it _might_ be a bit before I finish it, so bear with me.

    Loki stood outside the door to Luna’s bedroom, having managed to stop his anxious pacing before it a few minutes ago, his hand beginning to reach for the doorknob before hesitating and falling back to his side.

 

    He didn’t want to do this.

 

    He _really_ didn’t want to do this.

 

    It had been a week since he’d ~~kidna~~ \- _rescued_ Luna from SHIELD and brought her to his secret home on Alfheim, and things had been going pretty well; she was still hesitant to explore anything other than friendship with him, but it wasn’t an impossibility, and he could be patient when he really wanted something. And want he did. He had told Luna the previous night that he would return to Midgard in the morning to try and find information on her father, and he was out of the house, and realm, before dawn arrived. He didn’t doubt he’d be successful; he had always been _very_ good at finding answers (barring a few occasions that didn’t merit thinking about). It had only taken about an hour, and only because he’d chosen to keep his presence hidden.

 

    Now, though, he was faced with a bit of a dilemma: How in the Nine do you deliver some decidedly _bad_ news to the woman you’re trying _very_ hard to keep happy and who has only just _barely_ begun to really trust you?

 

    Loki leaned his forehead against the door with a frustrated sigh. Why couldn’t anything in his life just be simple for a change? In the end, he turned around and headed back to his own room; no sense in waking Luna up that early just to ruin her day. He couldn’t avoid it forever even if he wanted to, he knew; he’d promised he’d give her any answer he found whether good or bad, after all. But a few more hours couldn’t hurt, right? With that in mind, he busied himself with a spell he’d been working on while mentally steeling himself to having to deal with a _very_ upset guest.

 

****

 

    Luna hadn’t slept very well the previous night after Loki told her he’d be going to Earth in the morning to find out what he could about her father. She struggled between being hopeful and trying to prepare for the worst like she knew she probably should. It _was_ Hydra that took him, after all; they weren’t exactly known for their mercy. Still, she didn’t really want to think about losing the only family she had left.

 

    Well; the only family that _mattered,_ anyway.

 

    When she awoke from her fitful sleep the sun was already up; she got out of bed and walked over to the balcony, looking out at the forest and the birds that flitted past on their way to and from their nests with a smile. One thing she had decided, she would _definitely_ be coming back here sometime if she could convince Loki; and she had a really good feeling about her chances after how the week had gone. On that note she walked back into the room and to the bathroom to wash up, got dressed, and left to see if he was back yet.

 

    She considered checking his room first, seeing as it wasn’t that far from hers, but she had yet to actually bring herself to knock on the door for reasons she couldn’t really figure out; the few times she’d been in there after her first day in the realm, she’d followed him in. Instead she headed for the library he kept (which he’d told her was not even a fraction of the size of the one he’d practically grown up in at the palace of Asgard, but contained many books his mother had given him from her private collection), the sitting room they’d spent many of their evenings in, the garden out back, and even the kitchen, to find them all empty.

 

    Finally she made her way to the dining room, which she’d passed by after a quick glance told her he wasn’t there, for some much needed breakfast which was already laid out for her. She was halfway done when Loki walked in, freezing for a fraction of a second when he saw her before continuing on to sit across from her and preparing his plate. Luna wanted to ask what he’d found out the second he walked in but restrained herself, not wanting to be rude, and instead bid him good morning and kept eating.

 

    Once they were done Loki cleared the table with a wave of his hand and placed his elbows on the surface, resting his chin on top of his entwined fingers and looking down at the table in thought, trying to figure out how to start what would be an unpleasant conversation. Luna shifted slightly in her seat, wanting to say something but sensing the growing unease in the room.

 

    “Well, this isn’t awkward at all...” She said with a rather nervous chuckle.

 

    Loki frowned slightly and she bit her lips together and glanced around the room. Finally, he sighed, deciding it was best to just get it over with instead of stalling, and looked up at her.

 

    “I have news...” He began, causing Luna’s gaze to snap back to him.

 

    “And...?” She asked hesitantly. His expression gave the answer for him and Luna’s face fell and her shoulders slumped. “I see...” She said, barely above a whisper.

 

    “Luna; I am so sorry.” Loki said, and he meant it.

 

    While he couldn’t say that he knew what she was going through, the very _thought_ of losing Frigga, or even Thor if he was completely honest with himself... he shuddered to even consider it. His words seemed to be the catalyst, and Luna whimpered slightly. In an instant he’d stood and made his way around the table and to her side, where he wrapped her up tightly in his arms; she was still for a moment, and then she buried her face in his chest and broke into sobs, clinging tightly to his shirt.

 

    For what felt like hours, he held her as she cried; it was hardly a comfortable position, as he was sort of kneeling but his knees weren’t _quite_ touching the floor, but he didn’t dare move, instead slowly running the fingers of one hand through her hair and murmuring comforting words into her ear. When Luna’s sobs quieted to sniffles, Loki gently picked her up and carried her to her room, sitting down on the bed with her on his lap, and sung her a lullaby Frigga used to sing to him when he woke from nightmares as a child until slowly but surely, Luna drifted off to sleep. When he was sure she wouldn’t wake, he settled her down on the bed, pulled the covers over her then placed a kiss on her temple and left the room.

 

****

 

    Luna slept most of the day away. Loki thought about waking her for lunch but decided against it, figuring she probably wouldn’t have much of an appetite anyway. The sky was just beginning to darken when she woke up but she didn’t get out of bed for quite some time after that; even that was more out of a vague sense of obligation than any real desire to do it.

 

    She felt numb. Completely and utterly numb. It was as though someone had flipped a switch and turned off any and all emotion. She walked over to the door and opened it to find herself face to face with Loki, his hand poised to knock.

 

    “I know you probably won’t care for it,” He began, only just managing to succeed in not wincing at her empty expression, “But you really should eat something.”

 

    “I’m not hungry.” Luna mumbled tonelessly.

 

    “Luna, please; just a little.” He insisted, even allowing his tone to become a bit pleading to see if that would convince her.

 

    She stood there for a moment, staring right through him, and then nodded faintly and allowed him to lead her to the dining room, where he sat her down and served her a light meal. She didn’t eat half as much as Loki would have liked, but at least she ate. Luna sat there staring off at nothing for a while before quite suddenly tears began to fall freely down her cheeks and she choked on a sob. Loki was at her side in an instant, gathering her up and taking her outside to the garden, hoping the fresh air would do her _some_ good.

 

    “I can’t imagine how you must feel, little bird,” Loki spoke softly as he ran his hands up and down her back in an attempt to comfort, “But whatever I can do, just say the word and it is yours.”

 

    “Just...” Luna replied in a small shaky voice, holding onto him with whatever strength she could muster, “Stay.”

 

    “Always.” Loki assured her, pulling her closer to him.


	2. Chapter 2

    The rest of the week Loki barely left Luna’s side; she wouldn’t let him, and he simply didn’t have the heart to since she was so much calmer when he was there. He didn’t really even have to do anything, just being nearby seemed to be enough, although she did cling to him a lot most days. She didn’t cry as often as one might have thought she would, but when she did she usually sobbed herself to exhaustion-driven sleep.

 

    It was a rainy afternoon and they were sitting at one of the many balconies, Luna curled up next to Loki leaning against his side as he kept his arm draped over her shoulders, watching the rain fall when Luna suddenly spoke up.

 

    “I want to go out.” She said, more of a statement than asking if it was possible.

 

    “Now?” Loki asked, turning his face to her with a raised eyebrow.

 

    “Yes.” Luna replied, looking up at him.

 

    Loki mulled it over, or more like pretended to, since he knew from the start he wasn’t going to deny her. “Alright, little bird,” He said with a gentle smile, “Out, it is.”

 

****

 

    Loki never really minded standing out in the rain - it had a rather peaceful quality to it, actually - but he had never liked it so much as he did now. They had walked for a while under the pour, until they reached the same spring he had taken her to when he first brought her out of his residence. Luna currently stood with her face turned up to the sky, eyes closed and the most peaceful expression Loki had seen on her all week painted upon her features. He figured this was a good a time as any and walked up beside her, taking her hand in his, causing her to open her eyes and look at him.

 

    “Luna; I have something for you...” He began. She looked at him questioningly and he brought his hand up and conjured an urn onto it, causing Luna’s breath to hitch. “I went back to Midgard last night after you fell asleep and... well; _acquired_ this,” He continued and held the urn out to her, “I don’t think I need to tell you what it is.”

 

    “Loki...” Luna managed after a moment, taking the urn with shaky hands.

 

    “I thought you deserved a chance to give him a proper funeral.”

 

    Luna stared at the urn for a moment then closed the distance between her and Loki and hugged him tightly in response, not really trusting her voice.

 

****

 

    The next day was pleasantly sunny in the realm of mortals, which worked well with their plans; Luna had asked Loki to take her back to Midgard - more specifically, to the island of Linosa, south of Sicily - so she could scatter her father’s ashes somewhere familiar.

 

    “He brought me here a couple of times,” Luna said with a barely-there smile as they stood on a more secluded piece of the volcanic shore, the breeze toying with her hair and black skirts, “Some of my nonna’s family were one of the first colonists to come here back in 1845; it was a pretty big deal at home.”

 

    She stood staring off at the ocean for a while, lost in memories, and then took a deep breath, opened the urn and tipped it; its contents poured out, the wind carrying them off in strangely swirling patterns that Loki _may_ have had a hand in into the water as they watched on.

 

    “Fino al prossimo tramonto.” Luna whispered once the ashes were gone, her eyes clouding over slightly, but not crying.

 

****

 

    When their business in Linosa was concluded, Loki took them back to Alfheim to the elven village nearest his home. The elves didn’t seem to mind Loki’s presence and were curious about Luna but kept a respectable distance when they noticed the armband of black silk embroidered with silver thread that Loki had given her; he informed her the design signified that she was in mourning, and that people would only approach her to greet her and offer their condolences, but wouldn’t stay unless she wanted them to.

 

    Luna found that despite her heartache she was quite enjoying herself; the village was rather small but beautiful, and the marketplace had many interesting things to see. She even ate when they were offered food at one of the stands, much to Loki’s relief as her meals the past week had been quite spare despite his efforts.

 

    “I really like it here,” Luna spoke up as they meandered through the market, smiling a bit as she looked around, “I’d love to come back.”

 

    “I’ll bring you as many times as you wish, little bird,” Loki replied, taking her hand in his and entwining their fingers, “You’ve only to ask.”

 

    Luna looked down at their hands for a moment then leaned against him. “Thank you,” She said softly, “For everything; I don’t think I’d be handling this in any way well on my own.”

 

    Loki hummed then kissed the top of her head. “I told you I would keep you safe, didn’t I?” He replied, earning a silent laugh.

 

****

 

    That evening Luna lay in bed on her side, looking at a simple silver bracelet with a woven vine-like design worked onto it that Loki had bought her, thinking. So much had happened in the past few months since she had met the wayward prince; so much she hadn’t even imagined would. It was strange, to think of Loki as a friend given how she’d first seen him. Then again, even with his unconventional methods, all he’d done since they met properly had been to help and protect her. And as odd as it was, it felt... _right_ to be around him. Natural, even.

 

    Then there was the fact that he was clearly interested in more than just friendship. Luna had steadfastly simply _not_ allowed herself to even consider it, though she wasn’t sure what scared her more; whether she wasn’t interested, or whether she _was._ She hadn’t wanted to think about relationships; not only because of everything with SHIELD and Hydra and her father, but because her _last_ relationship was nothing short of disastrous. It had taken her the better part of two years to even _consider_ going on the date she’d cancelled the day everything happened.

 

    Did she _really_ want to risk that again?

 

    Of course, Loki wasn’t even half as selfish and condescending as her ex was; if anything he was maybe a little too accommodating, which told her he was still worried that the moment he turned his back she’d be gone. Given what he’d told her of himself so far it wasn’t too surprising he had abandonment issues worse than hers. It worried her, though, that he put so much effort into keeping her with him; the thought of what might happen if she ever let him down was a little frightening. Strangely, she was a little less concerned that he might hurt her than she was of what it would do to _him._ It was clear he’d seen more than his fair share of heartache and she didn’t want to be the reason he suffered more.

 

    The more she thought about it, the less Luna could keep her distance. The less she _wanted_ to. In fact she was having trouble holding onto the reasons she had _ever_ wanted to; he had saved her life, saved her from losing her mind with cabin fever, saved her from being used as a pawn by those who claimed to be protecting her. He had taken the time to not only find out her father’s fate and comfort her after the news, but bring her his ashes and taken her to scatter them and get some sense of closure. He’d done so much for her, even being aware there was a chance she might someday want to leave.

 

    Given all of that; why was she even fighting the feelings she knew damn well were at the very least forming?

 

    Luna ran her fingers over the bangle then made a decision; she placed the gift on her nightstand, stood and left the room, destination clear in mind. As she reached Loki’s door she hesitated, suddenly considering that maybe he was already asleep. Would he be mad if she woke him up? Pushing the thought aside she lifted her hand and knocked. She didn’t have to wait long before he opened the door, and was relieved to see he didn’t appear to have been sleeping. He _did,_ however, look a bit surprised to see her there.

 

    “Luna; is something wrong?” Loki asked in concern.

 

    Instead of answering Luna closed the bit of distance between them and, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, raised herself to the balls of her feet and pressed her lips to his. He froze for a moment, caught off guard, and then returned the kiss; before long, though, he pulled back, grabbing hold of her waist so she wouldn’t fall.

 

    “What’s wrong?” Luna asked, confused and a little hurt.

 

    “Luna; you’re mourning. You’re not thinking straight,” Loki replied with a sigh, more than a little reluctant to say it but knowing it to be true, “I want you, but not like this. I don’t want you to regret it.”

 

    “Who says I’m going to regret it?” Luna asked, a little indignant.

 

    “I’m not saying you will, but I would rather be sure,” Loki replied, “Take your time. Grieve.” He took her face in his hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “If you still want this then; I will be here,” He promised softly.

 

    Luna didn’t seem altogether convinced, but nodded anyway then let him lead her back to bed. Loki bid her good night then returned to his own room. Closing the door, he leaned against it and breathed out a long sigh; that was easily one of the most difficult things he’d ever done, but he was sure it was for the best. He just hoped that when she thought things through with a clear head, she wouldn’t change her mind. He wasn’t sure he could handle that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Nonna' is italian for 'grandmother'.
> 
> 'Fino al prossimo tramonto' means 'Until the next sunset' in italian, according to Google. My italian is limited to a handful of words, so I'll gladly welcome any corrections.


End file.
